Just four days ago in West Bengal, a 13-year-old Class 7 student was accused of stealing three packets of chips. He was made to apologize publicly. In his final note — a suicide letter addressed to his mother — he wrote: “Mom, I didn’t steal the chips.”
Last week in Gadchiroli, Maharashtra, a 10-year-old girl ended her life by hanging herself from a guava tree behind her house after her elder sister didn’t let her watch her favourite TV channel.
These young lives gone too soon — one over a television channel, another over packets of chips, and one over a chicken that wasn’t cooked by mother. To the adult mind, these reasons may seem small — even trivial. But for the child experiencing them, the emotions are overwhelming, real, and often too heavy to carry alone.
As a psychologist, I want to help us understand when a child chooses such an extreme step, it is rarely about just that one incident. It’s about what that incident meant to them emotionally — rejection, shame, loneliness, or helplessness — and the fact that they didn’t know how to deal with those feelings.
What Happens in a Child’s Mind?
Children and adolescents are still developing critical areas of the brain, especially the frontal lobe, which governs reasoning, impulse control, and emotional regulation. This means:
- They feel emotions very intensely.
- They often act impulsively.
- They may struggle to see that situations can improve with time.
In a moment of distress, without the ability to pause or process, they might make a decision that feels like the only escape from pain — even if it’s permanent for a temporary emotion.
What Are the Signs?
Children may not say “I’m not okay,” but they show us in other ways:
- Sudden withdrawal or isolation
- Unexplained anger, irritability, or sadness
- Fear of being misunderstood or punished
- Changes in sleep, appetite, or school performance
- Talking about death, disappearing, or being a burden
Sometimes, even without clear signs, a child might be silently struggling — especially after public humiliation or when they feel unheard at home or school.
How Can We Help as Parents, Teachers, Adults?
- Take Their Emotions Seriously: What feels small to you might be everything to them.
- Pause Before Reacting: Instead of shouting or dismissing, ask gently, “What’s going on?”
- Avoid Public Shaming: Children need correction, not humiliation.
- Create a Safe Space to Talk: Make it okay to cry, to mess up, to feel angry or scared.
- Model Emotional Expression: When you express your feelings calmly, they learn to do the same.
- Reach Out for Support: A counselor or psychologist can offer a safe space for your child — and tools for both of you.
Let’s build a world where children are not afraid to speak, cry, or ask for help. Let’s help them understand that no mistake is too big, no feeling is too shameful, and no moment of pain is permanent.
Their hearts are tender, their minds are still growing — and our love, understanding, and support can be the reason they hold on.